Batten down the hatches -- it's 10/10/10, a day of some sort of reckoning, because humans enjoy these kinds of mathematical patterns, yes? (That said, those who pay attention to such things might surmise that the new moon of 10/7/10 was probably a more auspicious date, in terms of big-picture life shakeups. But we digress.)
It's a time to take 10 and look back on a year that brought us the "breakup" of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the lurrrrve patterns of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the brain bleeds of Bret Michaels, the upskirt photography and "Hannah Montana"-ditching and gay-man grinding and envelope-pushing of an "OMG I'm almost 18 now!" Miley Cyrus, and nationwide auditions for "Glee," which if nothing else revealed an insane lack of reading comprehension among the youth of America.
And don't forget the deaths of Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig and "Deadliest Catch" Capt. Phil Harris, and the arrest of Jake Harris.
But moving forward, we present 10 spicy celebrity scandals and sagas from the first 10 months of 2010. It's enough to leep you talking about for at least 10 minutes -- or you can chat about a different story with 10 different people.
10. Artie Lange, Howard Stern's sidekick, attempted suicide in January by stabbing himself nine times, only to be rescued in time when his mom stopped by to bring him food. He's recovered now, playing his first club standup date Sept. 26, coincidentally one day after the accidental prescription drug overdose of comic Greg Giraldo, on whom the plug was pulled Sept. 29.
9. Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune and "fiancee" of Tila Tequila, was found dead on Jan. 4. Johnson's death was ruled to be the result of natural causes including not attending to her diabetes, but Tequila worked it for all it was worth. Oh yeah, Miss Tila's trying to get a sex tape with an old boyfriend pulled from the market now, but the judge pretty much laughed at her.
8. Michael Blosil, a.k.a. Michael Bryan, son of Marie Osmond, killed himself in February by jumping from the heights of his apartment building in downtown L.A. The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising student left a note for a friend before jumping, and his mother canceled a number of Las Vegas shows as she coped with his death. Very sad stuff.
7. Gary Coleman died May 28 at age 42 after a fall. Despite speculation of foul play involving his ex-wife Shannon Price, who had the medical authority to pull the plug and did so, the "Diff'rent Strokes" actor's death was ruled accidental in October and police closed their investigation. Still, a year in which Coleman's penis and his poor health grabbed headlines was one for the books.
6. Tiger Woods -- what a dog. His trouble started around Thanksgiving 2009, but continued into 2010 with mistresses revealing themselves left and right -- quaking in your boots, Brett Favre? -- and his divorce from wife Elin Nordegren being finalized in August. Meanwhile, alleged mistress No. 1 Rachel Uchitel is heading back to school, with a pricey apartment in New York City that she can't wait to rent out.
5. Paris Hilton and drugs? Who'd'a thunk it? The heiress was popped for cocaine possession after she and boyfriend Cy Waits were pulled over Aug. 27 on the Vegas Strip after cops smelled pot smoke wafting from their Escalade. Paris pleaded guilty to possession and obstruction of justice -- yeah, it was her purse after all -- and was sentenced to year of probation, with a no-questions-asked year in jail promised if she messed that up. Her immediate trip to Japan after the trial was cut short when immigration officials at Narita airport said no to letting the recent convict into the country to see her fans and pitch her products.
4. Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day 2009 on domestic violence charges related to threatening wife Brooke Mueller with a knife, and death -- but the interesting parts of the case came in 2010 when he avoided jail time, community theater time and nonsmoking time as he negotiated his way out of trouble, finally bagging his get-out-of-jail-free card in August. And yeah, Charlie got a raise on "Two and a Half Men," cementing his per-episode take in the seven figures. Sometimes it feels good to be a gangster?
3. It's a banner year when the Lindsay Lohan circus comes in at No. 3. LiLo messed up terms of her probation on two 2007 DUI charges, partied in Cannes until she couldn't get a ticket home to see the judge on time, then was sent to jail and rehab as punishment. It apparently didn't stick, as she blew a couple of court-mandated drug tests while on parole and was summoned back to Beverly Hills court to face a new judge. Having made bail, she's now in rehab (for the fifth time) at the Betty Ford Clinic, awaiting the fate that will come Oct. 22 when she's back in court.
2. Mel, Mel, Mel. Whether you're Team Mel Gibson -- think Jodie Foster and Whoopi Goldberg -- or Team Oksana Grigorieva, the angry, profanity-filled rants from the Oscar winner couldn't help but poke a stick at any latent PTSD cases in the gossip-following audience earlier this year. That said, is she the gold digger and he the victim? Or is he a real-life Mad Max? Only time -- and the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department -- will tell, as domestic violence and extortion allegations travel through the legal system.
1. Sandra Bullock. Stop and pay homage to the coolest woman ever, who won the best actress Academy Award for "The Blind Side," only to be dashed against the rocks of scandal a little over a week later when her husband was revealed to be a tattooed-lady-loving two-timer. Or three-timer. Or maybe-more-timer. We're so happy she chose the most fabulous dress of all time to wear to the Oscars, because it would appear repeatedly for months afterward as a generation of strong women metaphorically carried her on their shoulders, cheering as she pulled off a no-nonsense divorce and oh-so-secret adoption, making us wish "if only" we had her strength and her classy, devoted network of friends.
